| I still remember the day a friend informed me that the film Swordfish (2001) featured Halle Berry’s breasts. I demanded clarification. "You mean… out?" I asked. Yes, my friend assured me, that’s what he meant. My imagination raced. "Wow. I mean… wow. They look great when they’re… in. They must look spectacular out."
They did.
This week’s Video Vulture looks at other similar moments of surprising screen nudity – quick glimpses of certain parts of a famous actor’s anatomy (usually from TV stars) that catch viewers unawares, leading to some interesting water-cooler conversations the next day.
· Julie Andrews in S.O.B. (1981): Writer-director Blake Edwards knew that if Julie Andrews (his wife) ever did a topless scene in a movie, people would never stop talking about it. He was right. The thought of Mary Poppins getting her tits out is still enough to make the mind reel. Julie got to have fun with her goody-goody image while showing off her attractive body, and a nation of prudes dropped their monocles into their teacups.
· Gillian Anderson in The Turning (1997): When The X-Files made Anderson’s detective Dana Scully into the sci-fi fan’s sex symbol, this earlier film was rushed to video. Fan interest swelled when word got out that she had a topless scene in it. The buzz was short-lived, however, as word got out even more quickly that this was the only interesting thing about the movie.
· Graham Chapman in Monty Python’s Life of Brian (1979): Here’s a hilarious full-frontal scene that works because it’s just so unexpected. Brian awakens in a satisfied state of post-coital bliss, strolls to the window to breathe in the morning air, swings the shutters open and finds himself naked in front of a massive throng of admirers.
The commentary track from the DVD reveals that while preparing for this scene, somebody looked at Chapman and mentioned that you could tell that he wasn't Jewish. This was a fairly vital plot point, so a rubber band was found and applied.
Fellow Monty Python alumnus John Cleese also began doing nude scenes in comedies, most notably in Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life (1983) and A Fish Called Wanda (1988).
· Priscilla Barnes in Mallrats (1995): Priscilla is best known as Terri, one of the many replacement "dumb blondes" to take Suzanne Sommers’ place in Three’s Company. A fit-looking 40-year-old, Barnes has fun with her role as a topless fortune teller in Kevin Smith’s second film. Barnes’s scene avoids being exploitive by being extremely weird – her character has a superfluous third nipple! This bizarre mutation is the source of her powers, although it succeeds in grossing out Brodie (Jason Lee) completely.
· Lynda Carter in Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw (1976): Wow. I still remember channel-surfing late one night and spotting the superbly proportioned Ms. Carter skinny-dipping. This was Lynda’s first theatrical feature, made around the same time as her seminal TV series, Wonder Woman. Seeing her poured into that form-fitting superhero costume was exciting enough, but a naked Lynda Carter is one of those formative experiences you just never let go of. Anybody who remembers being mesmerized by Lynda’s flag-wrapped charms as a kid has got to see this.
· Lisa Bonet in Angel Heart (1987): Back in the ’80s, the idea of Denise from The Cosby Show doing an explicit sex scene was a big deal. The scene itself is quite alarming, mostly because it seems to be taking place in some kind of twisted dream sequence, where horrible things happen and the walls ooze blood. Today, the film is a fan favourite – not for the sex scene, but for its disturbing and fascinating narrative following the ironic fate of a doomed protagonist.
· Demi Moore in Blame it On Rio (1984) and Striptease (1996): Ms. Moore got a then-record $12 million for stripping off in the critically unappreciated film adaptation of Carl Hiaasen’s novel Striptease. This wasn’t her first semi-nude appearance, though. That came more than a decade earlier in the Michael Caine comedy Blame it On Rio. At this point in her career, she was known for her role in the soap opera General Hospital, and her brief appearance wearing nothing but bikini bottoms and strategically placed hair might have had more of an impact if the gloriously topless Michelle Johnson weren’t standing right next to her. Come to think of it, Michelle’s heavenly boobs stole the film completely, rendering Moore, Cain, Joseph Bologna and even Johnson’s own limited acting ability completely superfluous. Whether you consider this to be a good or a bad thing largely depends on your age. I was 14 when this came out, so I love this movie.
· Julia Duffy in Night Warning (1981): Ever wondered what Newhart’s Miss Stephanie would look like naked? Here’s your chance to find out. Of course, this weird little suspense thriller is much better known for Susan Tyrell’s wild performance as crazy Aunt Cheryl. Check it out.
· Teri Hatcher in Heaven’s Prisoners (1996): Today, she’s a Desperate Housewife, but in the ’90s, she was Lois Lane. Then along came her much-talked-about topless appearance in this movie. The audience is sitting there, wondering when Ms. Hatcher is going to appear, when suddenly there she is – out on the balcony with her balcony out. One is immediately reminded of her last line in a classic Seinfeld episode: "By the way, they’re real. And they’re spectacular."
· Adam West in Baadasssss! (2003): I haven’t yet seen this film, which is a semi-biographical account of the making of Melvin Van Peebles’s groundbreaking exploitation film, Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song (1971). Apparently, former Batman Adam West gets to show his own bad ass. I will refrain from making any Batcave jokes. |
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