Review
REBOUND
Starring Martin Lawrence, Megan Mullally and Breckin Meyer
Directed by Steve Carr
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Someday, Cinderella will tire of wearing a jock strap. But until then, families will be forced to suffer through underdog sports drivel like Rebound.
This generally uninspiring tale follows hotshot university hoops coach Roy McCormick (Martin Lawrence) on his tumble down the ladder. A self-centred jerk who technically fouls himself out of a job (murdering a helpless mascot in the process), Coach Roy limps back to his old junior high school to lead the Mount Vernon Smelters to glory.
Surprise, surprise – they suck. But then, with every cliché to ever don a pair of gym shorts in the lineup (fat kid, selfish kid, awkward kid, nervous vomit-spewing kid), they’re supposed to be lovable losers – emphasis on "losers."
Anyway, after some initial pouting and scenes of both players and coach getting basketballs in the nose, groin, etc., Roy shapes up his squad, solves all of their personal problems, hits on a single parent, and learns that there’s more to life than endorsement deals. The end.
That is it, really. Rebound is such a by-the-numbers drill, it makes Hardball with Keanu Reeves look deep. You’ve got the usual procession of famous faces wasting their abilities in thankless supporting parts – Will & Grace’s Megan Mullally headlines that unfortunate group as the humourless school principal. The soundtrack oozes predictable ditties like Survivor’s "Eye of the Tiger." And the obligatory slapstick gags (Cupcake in the chubby kid’s face? Why not.) go over like bricks.
Even the big game – the sentimental summit of all things sports – has zip in the way of emotion. You can thank coach Roy’s dud of a speech for that. He runs down every life lesson learned on the home team’s bench. Yep, he goes through each kid, one by one, during the longest time out in the history of basketball.
Director Steve Carr assisted in the taming of Eddie Murphy with sanitized projects like Daddy Day Care and Dr. Dolittle 2. The obvious plan is to do the same kind of raunch disposal operation on Lawrence – but it’s going to take smarter material than this. Martin Lawrence is a funny guy – he’ll rebound from this. But to do it, he’ll need something with balls. |
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