>>REVIEW
DEUCE BIGALOW: EUROPEAN GIGOLO
Starring Rob Schneider and Eddie Griffith
DIRECTED BY Mike Bigelow (seriously)
Opens Friday, August 12
Check listings
I invited my good friend Todd to the advance screening of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo. Todd is a music supervisor and he actually scored the trailer for this film. When I say scored, I mean he found the right songs to emphasize the mood of the piece. It’s a pretty cool job, especially if, like Todd, you are a big music fan. Todd was the guitarist for the cult indie band H back in the day. I think going from touring musician to music supervisor is a perfect transition – it has a certain grown-up cachet, yet still sounds really cool.
We were waiting for the film to start – the tickets to these things always say to show up well in advance to ensure you get a seat – and we had some time to kill, so I asked Todd how work was. He told me that he and a buddy of his from L.A. were thinking about opening a bar and naming it "Robocop." They were kidding, of course, but I thought that would be a perfect bar for Hollywood. All the drinks would have to be named after actors. At first it was just actors in the movie, like the Peter Weller (one ounce vodka, bitters and grenadine) or the Nancy Allen (Kahlúa and tequila). Then we riffed on other actors like the Danny Glover (grape juice – The Color Purple, get it) or the Harry Dean Stanton (cold coffee, bourbon and a cigarette) or the Patch Adams (milk).
Then Patch Adams, for some bizarre reason, morphed into a conversation about the possibility of creating a Lassie-like TV show about a 17-year-old, one-eyed, three-legged dog named Patchy who, when asked "Where’s Timmy?" simply farts. This was making us howl. "Patchy? Are there people trapped in the fire?" "Bbbbbrt." "Down the street?" "Phhhhhht." "Thanks Patchy." "Pffffftt."
We laughed ’cause, let’s face it, farts are funny, especially from a 17-year-old, one-eyed, three-legged dog, who saves the day every week.
Then the lights went down and we watched Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo. It was a piece of dog shit. |
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