| I once dated a guy whose bedroom consisted of a pile of blankets on the floor laid out to (sort of) look like a bed, a few shelves of books and a knapsack full of laundry. We were in university and he was big on romanticizing the poor-student image.
Little did he or I know that his minimalist sense of home decorating might have been what was contributing to the only thing that kept the relationship going as long as it did: a hot sex life. Though, now, come to think of it, the fact that his makeshift bed was on the floor (well, actually it was the floor) just might have been responsible for sinking this same relationship right into the toilet.
"In feng shui philosophy, the idea is to keep things off the floor because they pull the energy out of a room and into the ground," feng shui consultant Bridget McFarthing tells me over the phone. McFarthing has worked for several years to help people bring more health, wealth and happiness into their lives with some strategic furniture placement.
OK, it's a little more complex than that, and, by the way, it's pronounced "fung shway" and means "wind water." Apparently, one of McFarthing’s specialties is helping people maximize the sexual energy in their bedroom by "feng shui-ing" their boudoir.
My place is a bit of a feng shui nightmare, but I decided a little phone consultation couldn't hurt. At least I wouldn't have to hear her gasp in feng shui horror when she walked into my place and heard the distinct slurping sounds of energy being sucked into my floor through the piles of precious stuff scattered about.
Besides, we were going to focus on my bedroom here, the most Zen room in my place (despite this column's title). There are at least three or four feet of energy-sucking free floor space and my bed isn't against the wall.
"Getting rid of clutter and bed placement is one of the most important things when it comes to maximizing sexual energy," says McFarthing, who practices a more Westernized version of feng shui based on the theories of the Black Tantric Buddhist sect (BTB) from California.
Sounds a little scary I know, and, admittedly, these folks do give the traditionalist feng shui masters the willies – not from fear, but because they work to correct existing spaces rather than the more preventive approach of the masters. McFarthing believes the approach is more suited to Western needs.
"You can't rebuild your house or remodel your apartment because it has bad feng shui. I try and work with what people have."
I can hardly explain the entire philosophy of a practice that has been around since the Tang Dynasty. But for those of you less familiar with the whole feng shui trend, the basic philosophy is that everything is alive (rooms, tables and, yes, even beds) and contains energy, or what they refer to in feng shui circles as "chi." The BTB theory of feng shui uses placement and colour to readjust the chi in order to help the flow of energy in any given space.
Including the flow of orgasms through your body.
"Orgasms are energy, too," says McFarthing. "The flow of energy in your bedroom can affect the flow of orgasms in your body.
"For example, for people who don't feel comfortable during sex, bed placement might be the problem," she says.
Beds should be away from the wall and, if possible, facing both a door and a window, so you feel free to go in and out. And lose the ceiling mirrors – the ’70s are over. Mirrors reflect your own chi back at you and this is a bad thing. Energy, including sexual energy, also gets stuck in clutter. A bedside table is OK if you keep it clean and uncluttered, and you might want to put up a shelf to hold that pile of books lying beside your bed. A chair is OK, too – better to throw your clothes on it than the energy-sucking floor.
And get that crap out of the corners. "Stagnant energy goes to corners of a room," McFarthing tells me. "We usually find people who have a lousy sex life have a lot of stuff in their love corner."
Yes, in feng shui, every room has a love corner, which can be determined by laying something called a Ba Gua map over a space – or by standing at the main entrance and extending your right arm diagonally over the space to determine the direction of your love corner. Over the phone, we figure mine is the southeast corner of my bedroom, and is currently occupied by a number of dead or dying plants. ("Get ’em outta there, girl!" she cries.)
Once you clear your corner, you should decide what you want to go on in your bedroom and let the corner reflect this. So, say you want lots of hot sex to happen in your bedroom and the last time you and your partner had hot sex was on your vacation in Tahiti – you should clear your love corner and stick a few pics from that vacation in the cleared space.
"Posters, pictures and collages are all powerful," says McFarthing. But be careful: If you're single and looking for love, for example, you don't want to stick up a bunch of hot pictures of you all alone. Chances are you'll stay that way. Better to leave the space clear than put up something that will chase the sexual energy away, says McFarthing.
Candles are good, too ("fire is powerful," she says), but watch what colour they are and recite a little passion request every time you light them. You can also use colour to stimulate your love life. Red and pink are traditionally powerful colours that represent love and passion.
But also, in feng shui, everyone has a birth star based on their birth date. Apparently mine is six metal. I'm not sure what that means, but Bridget told me my best energy comes from the northwest and that white, silver, grey and gold are my sex colours. You can also combine your colours with a partner's to achieve maximum hubba hubba.
Sadly, the boy's birth star is two earth, which means his colours are brown, beige and tan.
Though, come to think of it, those dead plants are pretty brown. Maybe I could hang some tinsel on them.
Contact Josey at: letters@joseyvogels.com or visit her website at: www.joseyvogels.com. |
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