| I figure I’ve paid my dues. I reckon I’ve done my time. I approximate that I have contributed a measured and sufficient amount of time and labour above the weighted national average. Having finally found someone to print the brilliant insight and staggering wisdom that practically drips from my orifices, I decided that it was time to, as they say in the big city, hit the streets/talk to ordinary people/get the pulse/ride the sticky donkey. What was I after? Alberta boasts a record $8.8-billion surplus this year because of high energy prices. Every man, woman and child in Alberta will get $400 from the province's unbudgeted overflow – what does said man, woman and child think?
I spent 15 gruelling minutes amongst the cowering masses on the mean streets of Calgary to find out what the everyman thinks of Alberta’s prosperity bonus. Stupid and uniformed opinions ensued.
My first customer was Suzy Q. Lunchbox: "I don’t know – maybe it could be better spent by scrapping health care premiums, providing tuition help for university and college students, investing in the future of this province…. People will only waste the cheques paying for kids' school field trips or textbooks, maybe even blow it on uncovered prescription medicines – where will it end? "
Next was one Cledus P. Brownbagger: "Our government has every right to spend more than $4 billion of taxpayers’ money without any accountability to the legislature. What use do I have for the responsible stewardship of public funds coming from non-renewable natural resources?"
There I had it – the man and the woman. Did I bother speaking with any children? Not really. Seeing as how I was eating dirt until I was 14 years old, I didn’t really have patience for an answer that was bound to include the word Pokemon.
Sneezing horribly from the stench of the commonplace, I called for the car to take me home. Before it arrived I was grabbed from behind by a paunchy, shiny-suited, hockey-haired gentleman who refused to give me his name. I didn’t push him to identify himself, as I found myself mesmerized by the preposterous volume of turkey waddle hanging beneath his chin.
"Unprecedented high oil and gas prices are creating surplus revenues for the Alberta government, but Albertans are feeling the pinch of higher prices. It is a challenge to find the right balance for allocating these unexpected revenues and a responsibility that I, I mean our legitimately and popularly elected government, should take seriously. Albertans have made sacrifices when the revenues were low. They deserve to reap the rewards of their sacrifices when the revenues are high." The mystery citizen then tripped a homeless AISH recipient and disappeared into the crowd.
I then found myself accosted by the chairman of the Calgary Chamber of Money Making Enterprises, one Mr. Terence Skiprock, who said that sending Albertans a share of the province's surplus wealth is ill-conceived and short-sighted. He astonishingly advocated giving breaks on corporate taxes. Aren’t things a little breezy out on that limb, Mr. Skiprock?
I decided to pay a street person to do a little bit of research for me. What was the result the last time the Alberta government sent us cheques? Was there an impact? Did all of the doomsday and rainbow predictions prove true? After an hour, Johnny Nolunch came back with some surprising results. During the provincial Natural Gas Rebate Program of 2003-04, it seems that the greatest impact saw the program itself winning the Premier's Award of Excellence. If public policy is conceived and awarded by the same people, does that mean we benefit from it? It seems that small rebates, subtracted directly from ballooning energy bills, didn’t rock anybody’s world. (I wish I was making this up, but one of the other award recipients was actually the team who put on the awards show: "I present you a Premier's Award of Excellence for creating the Premier's Award of Excellence." Nice. I’d do that.)
I headed home, sat in my thinking chair and decided this issue was much too complicated, so I just searched for opinions that were already thought up and agree with them because it’s easier.
1. Alberta's economy does not need any more stimulation. We are doing fine as we are. Any unnatural attempts at stimulation will cause inflation.
2. Money that goes towards a permanent investment vehicle will supply interest payments in perpetuity and ensure the province's prosperity. Create a permanent income stream for the future.
3. Investments are essential in Alberta's education system, from kindergarten to graduate level. This is nothing if not a knowledge economy. We have too many dumb-asses. Ensure that our people will continue to lead and contribute.
4. Actualize Alberta as the world leader in the research and development of clean, renewable energy sources.
I could go on, but I’m kinda tired. I quote Todd Hirsch from the Canada West Foundation: "The province of Alberta has so much money – and its government is so bankrupt of ideas – that the only thing it can think of doing is give the money away."
Not wanting to waste my valuable thinking-chair time, my first thought was, let us please remember how lucky we are to be arguing about this. My second was how I’ll be smiling like a horse chewing bubble gum while I’m spending mine on the vacation Nikki and I are taking in December. I’m committed to my province and its people, but I’m considerably more committed to my own happiness. Damn I love this place. |
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